If the Darkness Had Wings
If the Darkness Had Wings is a queer vampire romance set in modern-day San Francisco. The story follows Cassie Clarke, a white privileged millennial woman who discovers the raging fires of her true passion when she falls in love with a centuries-old Mexican vampire.
Growing up, I was often drawn to gothic stories. I was drawn to the treasures and the passion found in the most tucked away and often marginalized parts of our souls, and the way in which these stories gave voice to the love that society shunned. However, there was also something distressing about them to me, even as a teenager. I later understood that even though the gothic roots were strong, the stories were written in the context of a morality poisoned by centuries of patriarchy.
Even so, there was something about gothic literature that always felt intrinsically queer to me.
This was in large part due to an implicit notion of "otherness," and the awakening of a deeper sense of self when the protagonist (usually a sensitive, introverted woman) came into contact with the "monster," or antihero, of the tale. Even though they were male-female pairings, as a deeply sensitive queer youth, I felt a sense of kinship with them. I couldn't help but celebrate these unions, and long for a different ending than the traditional tragedy that often awaited them; a return to a "normal" existence.
If the Darkness Had Wings first came to me in the character of Chavela, a centuries-old Mexican vampire. I could feel her knocking at the door of my unconscious, and it was like greeting an old friend when she stepped inside.
She helped me see that we could create a new story, and transform the Gothic tradition, so that those shadowy aspects of self—those parts often deemed by society at large as aberrations because they don't fit the mold—could be seen in a new light. I wanted to find and showcase the light inside the darkness; to celebrate it, and name it as something good. I was also committed to writing a gothic romance that had a happy ending; that ensured that the personal transformations the characters went through culminated in something beautiful.
And with that, I encourage you to read If the Darkness Had Wings. To explore the darkness, and the inner passions of your own soul, with new eyes. Because I believe that only through embracing the darkness, only through embracing our deepest and most authentic souls, can we truly become whole, embodied and fully human.
